You are probably familiar with an I.R.A. or Individual Retirement Account. An I.R.A. helps people to prepare for a financially secure retirement. While many people make careful provision for their retirement through an I.R.A., many neglect to invest in their R.R.A. or Relationship Retirement Account. During our retirement years we will not only live on what we have invested in our I.R.A.’s, but on what we have invested in our R.R.A.’s as well. Every parent and child has a Relationship Retirement Account. God’s Word gives us sound investment counsel that, if heeded, can help us to increase our current R.R.A. account balance. This is the first of three posts that I pray will help you to take inventory of and increase your R.R.A. account balance.
The fifth commandment communicates the first law relating to human relationships — “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you” (Ex. 20:12). This commandment expresses God’s concern for relationships in the home. The home is important to God because it is the setting in which children learn their value as human beings. As children interact with others in the home they either develop a positive or negative view of themselves. The home also is the setting in which children learn to relate to those in authority. Their experiences in the home usually determine the manner in which children relate to those in authority outside the home and ultimately to God. The home also is important to God because it is the place where children develop their values. As children observe what their parents hold important they too determine what is important.
The home was very important in ancient Israel. That is why God instructed both parents and children regarding how to build stable and harmonious homes. God charged parents with the responsibility of providing spiritual instruction in the home (Deut. 6:4-9). Parents were to teach their children how to put their confidence in God, to not forget the works of God, and to live in obedience to God (Ps. 78:5-8). The children, in turn, were to teach these same lessons to their children.
God also charged children with the responsibility of contributing to a stable and harmonious home. The fifth commandment specifically addresses how children (of every age) should relate to their parents. One thing is for certain, everyone reading this blog post has parents. How then, should we relate to our parents?
The fifth commandment tells us to “honor” our parents. The word “honor” means more than just “be nice to your folks.” The word “honor” translates a word that literally means “to be heavy or weighty.” The concept of honor probably emerged from the idea of a person having a weight of possessions or great wealth. People with a weight of possessions were thought to have been blessed by God, hence honored. Conversely, the Hebrew word “dishonor” means “to be light, swift, trifling” (see Deut. 27:16). What a contrast! Do you treat your parents heavily or lightly? Do you count heavy their words or do you take what they say lightly? Do you count heavy their welfare or do you take their needs lightly?
When the Hebrew Bible was translated into Greek, the translators captured the meaning of the word “honor” by using a word that referred to the value of a person or object. This gives us yet another perspective on what it means to honor our parents. Do you value or treasure your parents? For many of us it is easy to treasure our parents and hold them in highest regard, but for some it is difficult. A friend recently asked me how he could honor parents who had been abusive and neglectful. I suggested to my friend that he could honor his parents by expressing concern for them and their spiritual welfare. After all, Jesus also gave His life for parents such as these. To say “I do not care about my parents because…” is to ignore their worth as human beings and thus violates the spirit of the fifth commandment.
Should children ever stop honoring their parents? Having recently suffered the loss of my beautiful mother, I now see another dimension to honoring our parents. We must never stop honoring our parents, even when they are in the grave. Instead, we should posthumously honor deceased parents by living in a manner pleasing to God. Although my Mom is now in heaven, I want to continue to honor her. I do not want to do anything that would tarnish her memory. So, regardless of our age or whether our parents are alive, we should never stop honoring our parents.
Finally, the fifth commandment contains a promise — “that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” The promise of a long life “in the land” referred primarily to the people of Israel and their existence in the land of Canaan (Deut. 4:40 and 32:46-47). The ability of the nation to survive “in the land” depended in large part on the stability of the home. According to Ezekiel 22:7, the failure of children to honor their parents contributed to the eventual captivity of Israel. Many other ancient civilizations also fell because of the disintegration of the home. Can America survive if our homes are not built according to God’s blueprint?
• • • • •
Please take a moment to read Honoring Parents |2 and Honoring Parents | 3.
I returned home from
On Tuesday morning we drove past the darkness of Choeung Ek toward the province of Takeo near the Vietnam border. When we finally turned off the main highway, we bounced along a rutted dirt road until we arrived at the village of Trapang Sdok. Almost four-hundred people had come from the surrounding villages to hear a message of life and hope in Jesus Christ. Unlike the signs of death I had seen at Choeung Ek, I saw signs of life everywhere at Trapang Sdok.
Although Choeung Ek is now a peaceful and quiet place, the signs of death are everywhere. After all, almost 20,000 people were executed at this site. The most prominent building at the site is the Memorial Stupa, which was erected in 1988. More than 8,000 human skulls are arranged behind the glass panels of the building. Many of the skulls bear the visible marks of blunt-force trauma. These are the skulls of men, women, and children who knew nothing but pain and fear in their finals days. What crimes had they committed? The Khmer Rouge needed little excuse to kill. My friend Barnabas told us that one of his sisters was killed because she had kept a few sweet potatoes she had grown in her own back yard. Another sister was killed because she showed too much emotion when she sought permission to visit family members in another town. I can only imagine what senseless reasons resulted in the deaths of those buried in Choeung Ek’s communal graves.
Three signs in particular caught my attention at Choeung Ek. The first sign marked mass grave number 7 and said, “Mass Grave of 166 Victims without Heads.” These victims were among the 8,000 whose skulls were found separated from their bodies. I wonder about the individuals who were responsible for butchering these people and how they could possibly sleep at night and how they learned to live with what they had done to their own people. Unlike Hitler who killed the Jews, Pol Pot’s Khmer Rouge killed their own people. Barnabas related the account of one of these butchers who became a Christ-follower later in life. When asked what regrets he had about the killing fields he replied that he only had two. First, that he had killed so many. Second, that he did not know Jesus at the time. He said that he could not have possibly murdered others had he known and followed Jesus at the time of the killing fields.
The third sign that caught my attention was the saddest of all. This sign was also posted in front of a tree. The sobering words written on the sign said: “Killing Tree Against Which Executioners Beat Children.” Ammunition was more precious to the Khmer Rouge than the lives of children. Pol Pot’s henchmen took small children from their mothers, swung them by their feet and smashed them against the killing tree, and then tossed their lifeless remains into the adjacent mass grave. The sign that marked that grave noted: “Mass Grave of More than 100 Victims | Children and Women Whose Majority Were Naked.” Throughout the world today, the unborn, children, and the weak are still being smashed against the killing trees.
In the mid-1990’s, a single woman named Sakada started the orphanage called UNACAS, which stands for Unaccompanied Association. Sakada lost her family members in the killing fields and survived alone. She never married and never had children. When she encountered some orphaned kids, she was moved to do something to help them and others in need of a home. So, she started the orphanage and began to rescue kids. She was not a Christian at the time. Later, she heard the gospel and became a Christ-follower
After worship this morning, one of the young men, a member of the praise team, gave us a tour of the orphanage. He is 21 years-old and has lived at the orphanage since he was 7 years-old. He spoke excellent English and is completing his second year of college. He also teaches English classes to the younger kids at the orphanage. I was impressed by his maturity, his polite disposition, and his determination to pursue his education and to honor God with his life. I shudder to think of what might have happened to him if Sakada had not chosen to rescue kids in crisis.
This afternoon we visited the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum in Phnom Penh. Once known as S-21, or Security Office 21, this terrible place was created on Pol Pot’s orders in April 1975. The buildings originally housed a high school and were a place of learning, the very thing Pol Pot feared, hated, and sought to destroy. The Khmer Rouge turned this place of learning into a horrific center for the detention, interrogation, torture, and murder of those deemed to be a threat to Pol Pot’s regime. Although the lives of thousands of men, women, and children were forever silenced here, they still speak and have a voice through this museum.
Piseth did an excellent job of preparing for our arrival. Since Malcolm and I are westerners, she had to arrange for policemen to be present to provide for our security. She also had encouraged the members of the Skun church to invite their families, friends, and neighbors to attend our meeting. And, they did! People from other villages in the area had walked several kilometers to Skun to hear the gospel. When we arrived the people were sitting patiently under awnings flapping gently up and down in the breeze. As we approached, they welcomed us with applause. Barnabas invited me to preach the first message and then he followed-up with the second. At the end of the morning 152 of those present had placed their faith in Christ for salvation.
Before we left Skun, a mother holding her infant daughter approached us. The two-month old girl named Huat was laboring to breathe. Her mother said that her child’s breathing has not been normal since birth. It hurt just to hear Huat struggle to draw a breath. The people of Skun are far from medical care, so the mother asked that we pray for her daughter, which we did. We took the time to talk with the mother and to pray for her baby girl. When I assured her that I would ask the people of Kingsland and other Christ-followers to pray for Huat, peace chased away the anxious look on her face.
After our meeting, we drove the short distance from Siem Reap to Angkor where we visited three of the ancient temples on the vast grounds. Amazing! We visited Angkor Wat, believed to be the largest religious structure in the world. We learned that Pol Pot sought to build a kingdom even more glorious than Angkor. He was inspired to imitate the brutality depicted in the many bas-relief stories of battles carved into the temple walls. However, Pol Pot did more than imitate the torture methods carved in stone – he exceeded them. We also visited the Bayon Temple, famous for its many four-faced Buddhas carved into the massive and ornate stone towers. Even for a non-Buddhist, the huge faces of Buddha, the enlightened one, are quite impressive. Finally, we visited Ta Prohm, one of the oldest sites in Angkor. This Hindu site boasts trees with massive roots entangled in the ruins and is a photographers’ paradise.