Go Beyond

I have always loved and looked forward to celebrating Christmas. Every memory that I have of Christmas is good — from my very earliest memories to the memories we made today. Many of our family Christmas traditions were influenced by my Hispanic heritage and growing up in South Texas. As a kid, I loved the days leading up to Christmas when my beautiful mother would invite friends and relatives to our home for a Christmas tamalada or tamale-making party. In addition to making tamales, mom and our houseful of women baked pan de polvo (Mexican wedding cookies), empanadas (a Spanish pastry) stuffed with various delicious fillings, and all kinds of Christmas goodies. Christmas was a magical time when our home was filled with food, friends, music, conversation, laughter, and all of the delicious aromas and sweet fragrances of the season. But, most important, Christmas in our home was about Jesus.

As much as I love Christmas, I missed my mother today. This is the second Christmas since mom passed away and it is still hard to deal with her absence. While my family and I had a great time with my Dad and my siblings, we all missed mom. Every delicious dish and pastry that my wife and sisters and daughters prepared reminded us of her. Our Christmas menu is still influenced by what mom would prepare for our Christmas dinner. And, we missed her as we gathered to share gifts and the stories of the gifts that we gave to others. But, as tough as it was to celebrate Christmas without her this year, we were bolstered by the fact that we have only sweet memories of Christmas with mom. She made Christmas memorable for all of us. And today, I realized what a blessing that is. My mom gave each of us a lifetime of Christmases filled with love, grace, and beauty. That is her gift to us this Christmas. And it will be her gift to us for the rest of our Christmases without her.

I posted a blog earlier this month while on my way to Cambodia entitled New Christmas Paradigm in which I shared that my wife and I gave money to our kids and challenged them to find and fill a need. Instead of opening gifts on Christmas Eve, our kids shared about who they helped. Niki, our oldest daughter, learned about a single mom who did not have the money to provide gifts for her ten year-old daughter. So, Niki made sure that this little girl would have gifts to open on Christmas morning. Our son Jonathan and his girlfriend decided to put together backpack care packages for the homeless. They shopped for blankets, toiletries, and other items to help the homeless this winter. Gina, our youngest daughter, researched and found an organization that teaches children about safety. She donated her money to this organization in memory of Clinton Ryan, our two-year old nephew who drowned two years ago. I’m glad we decided to bless others in this way because it made this Christmas more memorable than it might otherwise have been.

In the past few days I have thought a lot about what Christmas will be like for my kids when I am in the grave. I hope that they will continue some of the traditions passed on by my mom and dad and by my wonderful in-laws. And I hope that they will continue the new things, like blessing the least of these, that we started this Christmas. I have come to understand that we can continue to bless our kids at Christmas long after we are in the grave if we will make each Christmas that we share with them both meaningful and memorable. We took a few more important steps in the right direction this Christmas. Cheryl and I are encouraged by what our kids did to bless others. We are more committed than ever to leaving our kids a Christmas legacy that will comfort them in the years when they will celebrate Christmas without us.