Go Beyond

   • This is the third of three posts on the topic of honoring parents.

   Paul emphasized that honor is a two-way street. A two-way street means that traffic flows in two directions. In order for parents and children to avoid head-on collisions they must learn to heed the signs of the road. Paul posted a road sign to help children travel in the right direction and stay in their respective lane: “Children obey your parents” (Ephesians 6:1). The word “obey” means to listen attentively and respond positively.

   Children should obey their parents “in the Lord” or as a Christian should. Children should also obey their parents because “this is right.” Obeying parents is the right thing to do because it is in line with God’s will. In a parallel passage Paul said, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (Col. 3:20). The only exception to that obedience is in the matter of doing anything that is clearly against the teaching of Scripture.

   Paul cited the fifth commandment (Eph. 6:2) to emphasize that obedience is one of the basic elements of honoring parents. We honor our parents when we give weight or consideration to their words. We dishonor our parents when we treat their instruction lightly or blow it off. Paul noted two benefits of obeying and honoring parents (Eph. 6:3). The first benefit relates to the quality of life — “that it may go well with you.” I can certainly testify to the fact that things at home went well for me when I obeyed my parents. And, as a child I also learned that one minute of disobedience could get me hours of trouble. The second benefit relates to the quantity of life — “that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” This promise does not imply that those who have died young dishonored their parents. The general principle is that children who listen to their parents can avoid the sin and dangers that can easily shorten their lives.

   Paul posted a couple of road signs for parents as well (Eph. 6:4). The first sign warns parents to not “exasperate” their children. To “exasperate” means to provoke or irritate to the point of anger. What are some ways in which parents swerve out of their lane and exasperate children? Some parents exasperate their children by always saying one thing and doing another. Inconsistent and unfair discipline can also exasperate children. As one parent said, “You shouldn’t use a cannon ball to kill a fly.” Showing favoritism is another common cause of provoking children to anger. Humiliation, cruelty, and verbal and physical abuse can certainly exasperate children. When children are exasperated they become discouraged (see Col. 3:21) and frustrated.

   The second road sign encourages parents to educate rather than exasperate their children. The phrase “bring them up” (Eph. 6:4) means to nourish or feed. Children need more than physical food, shelter, and clothing. They also need emotional and spiritual nourishment. Parents can provide such nourishment to their children through fair and consistent training or “discipline.” Children also need nourishing “instruction.” The Book of Proverbs is a good source for parents who want to share wise counsel with their children. The phrase “of the Lord” reminds parents to offer training and instruction that is in keeping with God’s Word. If you want to raise a good driver then follow the manual, heed the road signs, and set a good example. And remember, honor is a two-way street.

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Please take a moment to read Honoring Parents |1 and Honoring Parents | 2.