Go Beyond

   You are probably familiar with an I.R.A. or Individual Retirement Account. An I.R.A. helps people to prepare for a financially secure retirement. While many people make careful provision for their retirement through an I.R.A., many neglect to invest in their R.R.A. or Relationship Retirement Account. During our retirement years we will not only live on what we have invested in our I.R.A.’s, but on what we have invested in our R.R.A.’s as well. Every parent and child has a Relationship Retirement Account. God’s Word gives us sound investment counsel that, if heeded, can help us to increase our current R.R.A. account balance. This is the first of three posts that I pray will help you to take inventory of and increase your R.R.A. account balance.

   The fifth commandment communicates the first law relating to human relationships — “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you” (Ex. 20:12). This commandment expresses God’s concern for relationships in the home. The home is important to God because it is the setting in which children learn their value as human beings. As children interact with others in the home they either develop a positive or negative view of themselves. The home also is the setting in which children learn to relate to those in authority. Their experiences in the home usually determine the manner in which children relate to those in authority outside the home and ultimately to God. The home also is important to God because it is the place where children develop their values. As children observe what their parents hold important they too determine what is important.

   The home was very important in ancient Israel. That is why God instructed both parents and children regarding how to build stable and harmonious homes. God charged parents with the responsibility of providing spiritual instruction in the home (Deut. 6:4-9). Parents were to teach their children how to put their confidence in God, to not forget the works of God, and to live in obedience to God (Ps. 78:5-8). The children, in turn, were to teach these same lessons to their children.

   God also charged children with the responsibility of contributing to a stable and harmonious home. The fifth commandment specifically addresses how children (of every age) should relate to their parents. One thing is for certain, everyone reading this blog post has parents. How then, should we relate to our parents?

   The fifth commandment tells us to “honor” our parents. The word “honor” means more than just “be nice to your folks.” The word “honor” translates a word that literally means “to be heavy or weighty.” The concept of honor probably emerged from the idea of a person having a weight of possessions or great wealth. People with a weight of possessions were thought to have been blessed by God, hence honored. Conversely, the Hebrew word “dishonor” means “to be light, swift, trifling” (see Deut. 27:16). What a contrast! Do you treat your parents heavily or lightly? Do you count heavy their words or do you take what they say lightly? Do you count heavy their welfare or do you take their needs lightly?

   When the Hebrew Bible was translated into Greek, the translators captured the meaning of the word “honor” by using a word that referred to the value of a person or object. This gives us yet another perspective on what it means to honor our parents. Do you value or treasure your parents? For many of us it is easy to treasure our parents and hold them in highest regard, but for some it is difficult. A friend recently asked me how he could honor parents who had been abusive and neglectful. I suggested to my friend that he could honor his parents by expressing concern for them and their spiritual welfare. After all, Jesus also gave His life for parents such as these. To say “I do not care about my parents because…” is to ignore their worth as human beings and thus violates the spirit of the fifth commandment.

   Should children ever stop honoring their parents? Having recently suffered the loss of my beautiful mother, I now see another dimension to honoring our parents. We must never stop honoring our parents, even when they are in the grave. Instead, we should posthumously honor deceased parents by living in a manner pleasing to God. Although my Mom is now in heaven, I want to continue to honor her. I do not want to do anything that would tarnish her memory. So, regardless of our age or whether our parents are alive, we should never stop honoring our parents.

   Finally, the fifth commandment contains a promise — “that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” The promise of a long life “in the land” referred primarily to the people of Israel and their existence in the land of Canaan (Deut. 4:40 and 32:46-47). The ability of the nation to survive “in the land” depended in large part on the stability of the home. According to Ezekiel 22:7, the failure of children to honor their parents contributed to the eventual captivity of Israel. Many other ancient civilizations also fell because of the disintegration of the home. Can America survive if our homes are not built according to God’s blueprint?

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Please take a moment to read Honoring Parents |2 and Honoring Parents | 3.